Reaffirmed another man's faith in humanitis today w/ my good deed for the day only to have my no-faith fall even lower. saw a dude drop his credit card, and only his credit card inside a building while talking to my boss. literally stopped conversation w/ boss politely, grabbed card. had to chase the dude down out of the building and through a crowd of college kids late to class and gave him back his card. it was pretty swag. then as i turned around there were pedestrians crossing the street, and an SUV full of chotches w/ windows down actually revved the engine and sped towards a guy and screamed at him to get the F out of their way. yes they were all wearing cutoff tshirts.
this experience had me thinking the whole walk home about what i hope happens. Well, there was no physical way for me to kill the douchers in the car so I immediately had to jump to the next level.
Have the gods strike down all assholes. But then I realized that there are a LOT of assholes so if the gods did create the universe, the blueprints must have called for a shit-ton of assholes. SO they wouldn't strike them down if they've been pumping Earth full of them.
So then I thought that maybe all of humanitis should be destroyed. There would be no other way to ensure that all assholes are destroyed forever. So i wished for there to be the apocalypse. Whatever it is. Robot slave rebellion, Greys, natural random collection of planetwide extinction natural disasters. But then I thought that if anyone were to actually survive the apocalypse, it would be an asshole or collective group of assholes. E.g. what animal survived the asteroid mass-extinction that wiped out all dinosaurs? The crocodile. You show me a bigger asshole in the animal kingdom than the crocodile and ill give you 5 bucks. That would mean that everyone ever born after the apocalypse would be the son of an asshole, almost guaranteeing that they too would be an asshole. This cannot be.
So then I thought that the best thing to do would be to fund a massive research project to find out what it truly means to be an asshole. This would be a collaboration of the top minds from all major fields in the social and genetic sciences. Then once the essence of asshole-ism had been pinned down, all the social constructs, behavior, forces, and DNA sequences and genes. Engineers from around the world would make a hybrid weapon. It would have a viewscreen kinda like infrared heat signal viewers that would highlight assholes. And if the target is ID'd as an asshole the safety is disengaged and the weapon automatically fires upon the asshole with smart bullets and RPG's. But then i realized there were two problems with this plan; 1. anyone with the power and money to fund this kind of research is an asshole, and 2. the project would just be a massive collection of assholes talking at each other and humans will never be able to accurately define any social quality/construct or be objective about anything.
So then I came to my ultimate conclusion on what would be good for humanitis. Robots have been created by humans so they are out of the picture. I say aliens/higher being's who did NOT create our world whether they be physical and live in the same 4 dimensions as us, or if they be inter-dimensional time-bending glowing spirit jellyfish, they need to develop the asshole gun or equivalent, come here and just kill every last asshole. I might even be executed in the purge. I'm sure i've been a ass to some people sometimes. But that's not for me or you, or the person i was an ass to to decide. That's for the jellyfish.
And once the jellyfish descend and obliterate all assholes they will ascend again to the heavens/different time/place/dimension and the world will be at peace, albeit a lot more boring, and i have a sinking feeling in my gut that this asshole-free utopia Earth will be like Isla Nublar, and that just like girl raptors growing junk, some nice people will spontaneously transmorph into assholes. So maybe there is no solution. And maybe just like yin and yang, we must remember that in order for nice people to exist, there must also be assholes.
Maybe, sointex. But there should at least be sentinel jellyfish then who at least get the really huge assholes.
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